NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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