I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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