Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
