holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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