I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
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Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
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I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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