I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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