we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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