talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize