i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
