He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
