the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
