how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
