You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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