It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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