I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize