Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
