someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
