hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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