My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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