she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
