I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
