There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
