I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
