i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
