I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
