I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
