if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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