i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
