plz talk dirty to me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize