do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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