Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Operation Purity has been aborted
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
