dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize