Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
