I'm really into asian looking animals
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
