Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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