can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
