I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
