ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
