I love black thongs
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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