Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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