she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
