I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
