we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
