Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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