i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am midnight drunk by noon
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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