yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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