: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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