dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
