I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
