So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
