I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
