just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
