I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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