mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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