can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
