Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
