I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
