Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she peed on how many people?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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