We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
