You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
