Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
