Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
