woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just googled if crying burns calories
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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