I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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