She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
