I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
